I don’t know where you live but here in Chicago the months of March, April, and May carry a lot of heft as the gateway to summer. When we see March in our headlights we feel spring is on the way with turning our clocks ahead, more daylight, abundant sunshine and warmer temperatures.   It’s what gets us through the bleak cold days of winter, unless you like a numb face in a stiff wind and your shoes and car covered in salt stains. And while this past winter was relatively mild there still was no al fresco dining to be had. Unfortunately this past week was a total slap down weather wise and now that we’re into May we’ve compressed our window of how many great months of weather we can log before we head back into fall. The real reason I‘m mentioning all this is because it underlines the importance of sports. We need the Chicago Bulls and Chicago Blackhawks to do well every year. You see, back in the 90’s when the Bulls, the black Beatles, were winning championships it was a nice distraction from the weather with Jordan and Pippen taking us from April when the playoffs would start all the way to mid-June when they would win the trophy. Same thing with the Blackhawks, the Canadian Beatles. From April till June, Toews and Kane kept most of us anaesthetized from just about everything else including the weather. By the time it all wrapped up- it was summer! Sadly this year the Bulls didn’t even make the playoffs and the Blackhawks were done in Round 1 and that’s when you notice how sh.tty the weather is. Sure both of our baseball teams are in first place, but it’s early in the season and they just remind us of the bad weather when their games are cancelled.

Oh, and if the NFL draft is angling to come to your town make sure they pay full freight for everything. Chicago gave them big discounts the last 2 years, for what? They’re the richest sport in the country and look at all the money they save by putting those nets up behind the goalposts.

Here is a list of the bumper stickers currently covering my bumper and trunk lid:

HOT COFFEE IS HOT

SHARKS LIVE IN THE OCEAN

FIRE IS HOT

WILD ANIMALS ARE WILD

THE RUINS IN THE MIDDLE EAST ARE MORE RUINED

THIN ICE IS THIN

DRUNK DRIVERS ARE TERRORISTS

FIRE EATING IS DANGEROUS

KILLER WHALES KILL

MOST BREAKING NEWS IS NOT

APES GO APE

WILD FIRES ARE WILD

WHEN THUNDER ROARS GO INDOORS

JUMBOTRONS ARE JUMBO

WHEN THE GOING GETS WEIRD THE WEIRD TURN PRO

MY SCHNOODLE WOULD LIKE TO MEET YOUR SCHNAUZER

TERRORISTS TERRORIZE