Holiday Catalog Season

December 1st, 2017

I apologize for the long gap in updating this blog, I’m sticking with the thought that this has been one of the strangest years in quite awhile. Coupled with that I’ve been dealing with some family health issues.

So having said all that, now that we are in December I’m reflecting on the first holiday catalogue that was stuffed into my mailbox. It was the Restoration Hardware behemoth checking in at 725 pages. It reminded me of the Seinfeld episode when Kramer came up with a coffee table book that actually had legs to turn IT into a coffee table. Now if I’m in charge of catalogues at RH I would’ve had telescoping legs imbedded in that backbreaker they sent out so you could use it as an end table. When you’re not using it as an end table you can flick through the pages while you’re sitting there without holding it. The catalogue I really get a kick out of every year is the one from Pajamagram. Now I don’t know about you but I’ve only owned about 3 pairs of pajamas in my entire life and 2 of those pairs were before I was six. I find it amusing to see whole families in this catalogue dressed in matching pj’s decorating the Christmas tree. I just couldn’t see anyone in my family approaching my father back in the day saying “hey let’s all put on matching Snoopy pajamas and take some pictures.” He fought in World War II not to have to do that. Two items I hope to see under the tree on Jesus’s birthday; The Pressure Reducing Coccyx Cushion and The Remote Controlled Abrams MIA2 Military Tank from Hammacher Schlemmer.

I’m marketing an advent calendar where when you open a window or door everyday the face of a celebrity who has been accused of sexual inappropriateness is staring at you. I’m also working on a plastic dome that you would put over baby Jesus if you have an outdoor Nativity scene so my Savior cannot be tampered with or stolen.

Gunga Galunga,

Garry

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