Garry Meier©
Garry Meier
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Out Of My Mind

Top Ten Announcements recently heard on a United Airlines flight.

Number 10: Abuse and this flight are both non-stop.

Number 9: We get the turbulence out of the way before we take off.

Number 8: Our vouchers include a free overnight stay at a hospital.

Number 7: An aisle seat means less bruising when cops drag you out.

Number 6: We’ve found some teeth, is anyone missing teeth?

Number 5: Miles traveled in an ambulance will be added to your frequent flyer miles.

Number 4: Your seat cushion can be used as a chest protector.

Number 3: Have a chant ready if you are removed from your seat; “Just kill me” and “I need to go home” are not available.

Number 2: We know you have a lot of airlines to choose from…well, not that many so you just have to put up with our bullsh.t.

And the Number 1 announcement recently heard on a United Airlines flight; we didn’t give you that puffy face- you must have a peanut allergy.

 

Tell me if you think this, here’s the set-up; A ditchrat shoots a bunch of people, said mope, then gets shot by the police. Okay, you know this mamaluke is going to be rushed to the hospital and receive the same care that the people he shot get and you pretty much know this screwball […]

If you’ve watched any local TV news over the past year or so you may have noticed a number of these stations have decided to double down on weather forecasting. I would imagine this is happening no matter where you live because when you first saw the anchors start to stand up to deliver the […]

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About The Garry Meier Show

Garry Meier was inducted into the Radio Hall of Fame in November, 2013. Meier has won five A.I.R. Awards for Best Afternoon Show in Chicago and was awarded the National Radio and Records Award for Best Local Afternoon Talk Show Host in America. His segments have appeared on local and national television including World News Tonight. Garry has also been recognized multiple years by Talkers Magazine as one of the "100 Most Influential Talk Show Hosts in America".

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