August 17th, 2017

WTF! These past few weeks revolving around the North Korean missile
threats have resurrected a lot of anxiety I experienced when I was a kid
during the Cuban missile sh.t show in 1962. We were told by our teachers
that when we saw a fireball we should “get under our desks and put our head
between our legs” but what they left out was “and kiss your ass goodbye.”
People not in classrooms were told to lie down in a ditch, lie down in the
back of your car on the floor, lie down next to a hedge or bush if no ditch is
available, crouch under a table or desk at home or at the office, and don’t
talk on the phone and spread rumors. That last piece of instruction was
because the communication system will be urgently needed for vital
messages and rumors can easily cause panic. I think a mushroom cloud and
a shock wave trump any possible damage a rumor would cause. In school
we were told to run home after the heat and wave pass and to go down into
our bomb shelters and then when the radiation levels drop in about a month
come out and resume normal activity. Bing, bang, BOOM! Easy peasy
lemon squeezy. I guess the government’s fallback on this was “hey look
how Hiroshima and Nagasaki recovered after we dropped A-bombs on them.”
Yeah, ok. Except more countries are nuked up now and the bombs are
more powerful than they were 70 years ago and the population is greater in
the targeted cities. Kim Jong-un is talking about mini-nukes in his arsenal.
Yes as if there’s something like nuke-lite, “not as loud and half the
radiation.” Isn’t that in the same category as kinda pregnant. Once one is
launched it’s Lollapa-armageddon. It’s our version of War of the Worlds
and will make even less sense than the movie of the same name. Tom
Cruise don’t stare at the tripod, RUN!! You would think that Kimmy with
that haircut would have a cooler head but nooooo. Dennis Rodman talk
some sense into this haircut passing for a man. Jeezus look at that sentence,
Dennis Rodman might be the arbiter of thermonuclear war. This is all a bad
dream right? Leave me a message or text at 773.888.2157.

Gunga Galunga,

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