Seek Immediate Shelter

January 13th, 2018

You ever go days, weeks, months where you’re discombobulated? Yeah that would be me the later part of 2017. I stopped using my bread machine, i wasn’t updating this blog enough, etc. Okay I think I’ve turned a corner and i’m ready to get back on track. At least I’m not the mope who pushed a “wrong button” and issued a: BALLISTIC MISSLE THREAT INBOUND TO HAWAII, SEEK IMMEDIATE SHELTER. THIS IS NOT A DRILL, alert. Moving on. Is this the first time a president has used a swear while conducting official business? It got me to thinking, what if other POTUS’ had dropped the s-word in front of an audience? Abraham Lincoln: “this whole Civil War is one big shit show.” F D Roosevelt: “the Japanese have just stirred up one helluva shit storm.” J F Kennedy: Fidel Castro is one big shithead.” Bill Clinton: “you might think I’m up shit creek without a paddle concerning Monica Lewinksy.” George Bush on 9/11: “okay the shit has hit the fan folks, we’re going after these assholes.” Barack Obama: “Osama Bin Laden is lower than whale shit. We killed him and dumped him in the ocean.” Ronald Reagan: “shit, I’ve been shot!” Lincoln again: “why do we have to go to watch some shit ass play?” Reagan again: “John Hinckley has shit for brains.” Richard Nixon: “because there’s a shitload of evidence against me, i quit.” It was interesting watching how tv news handled this story, most went with s..thole on the screen however NBC Nightly News went uncensored but warned that some of the language they were about to air might be offensive to some viewers. Ha, that’s my favorite move, if they were concerned about the viewer they wouldn’t air the offensive parts at all but c’mon don’t you find yourself leaning in and turning up the volume whenever they throw out that warning? Also please tell me as this year gets underway with mudslides and mudslinging why the hell i need to know anything more about Tonya Harding? Suddenly there’s a movie about her and she’s making the talk show and awards show circuit and everything we needed to know about this goof was 20 years ago! Talk about coming from a s..thole! Don’t be surprised if Tonya shows up on the new season of Dancing With The Stars because this kind of lead up has DWTS written all over it. That and The Bachelor are perfect elixirs for cabin fever. Where’s my bourbon? Alright i’m going to crank up the bread machine and climb out of this funk.

Gunga, Galunga,

Garry

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