Send in the clownsOctober 14th, 2016
Clowns, clowns, clowns! Who they’re scaring, where they’re showing up, is all the rage this fall. It’s this autumn’s Pokemon Go/Ice Bucket Challenge frenzy! However, while those two must-dos gathered many participants, these clown stories seem mostly made up. After a handful were confirmed, many sightings were complete fabrications fueled by the triple w, but because clown fever has reached a boiling point and most of the stories (real or imagined) are negative McDonald’s has put their corporate clown, Ronald, on ice until things calm down.
Now since the clowns are out of the tiny car may I suggest something? For the 3rd and final presidential debate- we go total clown. Instead of hurling verbal insults for 90 minutes, Trump and Clinton blast each other with seltzer bottles, they both wear joy buzzers when they shake hands, Donnie could pull a fake pair of underwear out of Hill’s pants and then she could shoot water in his face with a squirting flower. If either one of them goes over the allotted 2 minutes, the moderator would have a big bicycle horn that he/she could pump until they stopped talking. Of course, the big finale would be a tremendous pie fight because this whole election cycle has been a freakin’ circus anyway. And may I suggest a replacement for Billy Bush on the Today Show. None other than the man in the front row at the last debate with the red sweater, the color of Ronald McDonald’s lips…Kenneth Bone. Bush is going down Bone is coming up. I’m getting chill bumps just thinking about it.