You can email me at Garrymeiershow@garrymeier.com
Text or leave a voicemail at 773.888.2157

We’re always hearing about the First Amendment and the Second Amendment but what’s the Third Amendment? Do you ever hear about that one? Never, right? Ok here it is. The Third Amendment to the United Sta​​tes Constitution places restrictions on the quartering of soldiers in private homes without the owner’s consent, forbidding the practice in peacetime. The amendment is a response to Quartering Acts passed by the British parliament during the buildup to the American Revolutionary War​, which had allowed ​the British Army to lodge soldiers in private residences. Yeah this is all 18th century sh.t. ​ What I’d lik​e to see is we replace that with my idea of allowing cops to tase one person everyday no questions asked no paperwork. See, some people shouldn’t be arrested but did something that merits punishment and the once- a-day tase program fills that gap, and to make it the Third Amendment would as cousin Eddie once said be “real nice.” Hey I’m not as dumb as I look, the 21st Amendment repealed the 18th Amendment which meant we could finally buy liquor legally. Woo Hoo! Somebody in government said “hey, we have free speech, we have guns, damn it let’s have liquor. What are we waiting for? The next time a mope clips his toenails on a plane rest assured when he exits the aircraft there will be a cop waiting for him at the end of the jetway with taser in hand. All protected by the brand new 21st century Third Amendment. I’m getting chill bumps. That’s a lot more useful than worrying about quartering soldiers in your home.

Gunga Gulunga,

Garry Meier