Burning Man, Burning Man, Burning Man, that’s all we heard about over Labor Day weekend. Why? I dunno. No really, tell me why I need to know about this event which is basically a Yogi Bear Campground for a week with luxury RVs, people screwing, and fires set being the only difference. Wait a minute, that’s exactly the same as a Yogi Bear Campground with the only difference being Silicon Valley dweebs jetting in. It’s Woodstock without the bands with the same traffic problem. It got to the point where it became Breaking News. Wha? That was Breaking News?! Back in the day Breaking News would’ve been the president has been shot or we’re under attack. Shit, now it’s a Jonas brother getting divorced and some people at Burning Man got mud on their bicycle tires. How many videos did you see from B M of people’s muddy bare feet or muddy shoes? Oh the humanity. The most absurd moment may have been when it was announced that President Biden was informed of the situation. “Mr. President, just so you know the toilets are all fucked up at Burning Man.” What was he going to do, declare a national emergency, head over on Chopper One to inspect the mud ruts, get FEMA on the blower?” OMG, Chris Rock is stranded at Burning Man with Diplo. Hell, at one point the coverage of B M made the Maui fire look like a nothingburger. The rumblings over the past few years have been that Burning Man has jumped the shark and that will be confirmed next year if it’s billed as Steve Harvey presents Burning Man. And poor Nevada, because the state is mostly desert it has to take any form of income it can get and that’s why when B M was pitched as 80,000 people going out to the middle of nowhere for a week to start an effigy of a giant man on fire on the last day and before that everyone would mostly get high and/or visit the Orgy Dome the powers that be said…”that sounds great, welcome to the Black Rock Desert, enjoy.” Who cares if there is only a 2 lane road to get people in and out, humans need a space to get in touch with their mojo, their juju, their gummies. I always thought Burning Man set up shop in Nevada to symbolize Man going to a brothel and catching something. “Mr. President I’m sad to inform you that a macrame tent at Burning Man is completely covered in mud, I’ll get Chopper One fired up.”
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Garry