In my previous blog, I strolled through the holiday edition of the Hammacher Schlemmer catalog. On the cover, it stated that it’s America’s longest-running catalog going back to 1848. Yes, 173 years of selling what it guarantees are the best, the only, and the unexpected items. So I thought I’d speculate here what they might have been selling back in the mid-nineteenth century. I would imagine it included things like a raccoon pelt for 67 cents, or a ring to ward off the likes of influenza, typhus, typhoid, and cholera, 92cents. Because there was no indoor plumbing back then it seems like H S would be pushing comfort items such as a bucket that holds wood for when you’re headed to the outhouse for your morning constitution described this way.. “on those frigid mornings when nature calls make sure you grab this beautiful copper bucket filled with just the right amount of wood to light up and keep you warm as you evacuate your colon, just 33 cents.” No doubt the catalog pushed a lot of wool socks and wool underwear for that special someone on your list. Just a dime. Hey, is there someone you know who likes to draw? Well, consider this 50-foot roll of parchment that will deliver hours and hours of pleasure, 55 cents. Heading out to California for the Gold Rush, well these tin pans are just the ticket, set of five, 88 cents. And you’ll want to remember William Henry Harrison in the White House with these embroidered wall hangings that feature his famous slogans, “Log Cabin and Hard Cider” and “Tippecanoe and Tyler Too”… the set of two for only 18 cents. Yes, Harrison was only in office for one month because he delivered a 2-hour inaugural address in very cold weather, caught pneumonia, and never recovered but that’s what makes these pieces collector’s items. Everyone will want this beautiful mahogany plaque inscribed with the 15th Amendment to the U.S Constitution which gave the right to vote to Black men, only 42 cents.
Well, that’s the way I envisioned the Schlemmer catalog back then. We’ve come a long way in 173 years where now you can buy a Flameless Marshmallow Roaster, $69.95, or the Automatic Flameless Candle, $39.95. Back then they couldn’t exist without fire, today we can’t get away from fire enough. Now that’s progress.

Gunga, galunga,
Garry