Follow me on this please, it’s in the early stages of an idea but here goes. I would like to address our southern border crisis. The migrant issue has been ongoing for many many years through many presidents and it doesn’t seem to get any better no matter who’s in charge because it’s all variations on the same design…extend the wall, beef up security, etc. As a bold experiment how about the U.S. invests in cruise ships that would sail around Central America and pick up people who would otherwise head north through our border. These migrants would have a room, food and medical services and while onboard we could evaluate their background and if they check all the right boxes we could then train them for some kind of job or prepare them for citizenship. Here’s the bit, the U.S. is already spending hundreds of millions of dollars to house them in cities around the country often in a slipshod way and in those circumstances we can’t really keep an eye on anyone to weed out any bad seeds. My idea has the migrant ships stay on the ocean while processing all the potential new people entering our country. These ships can hold thousands of people and I think it would be more attractive to someone who would otherwise pay a smuggler to cram them in the back of a truck or boat and dump them “near” the southern border. If you think wading across the Rio Grande river is a better option than boarding a cruise ship where the only time you’ll get wet is when you use the onboard water slide then go ahead and start wading. As Tom Petty said “the wading is the hardest part.” Ok, don’t consider my idea, just keep doing what we’re doing and flush more money down the river. And to those people who are thinking of heading this way with just the clothes and backpack on your back would you rather sleep in a tent in a parking lot eating a McRib or have a nice room and head down to a delicious buffet? You’ll have to fill out some forms, undergo some tests and get a background check before you’re allowed off the ship into the U.S. Oh, one more thing, anyone crossing the border on foot after the ships are deployed will be held in a makeshift prison camp and sent right back home. I’m trying to work with you here, I’m a thinker, I’m the guy who wants to bring pyramids or a military base to Gary, Indiana. Ladies and gentlemen, I think we can all agree in this case: Ship Happens. I’m Garry Meier and I approve this message.
Gunga, galunga
Garry