Tis the season and this is the only time of the year you can use “tis” and “twas” so enjoy. I just received my Hammacher/Schlemmer catalogue so I thought I’d highlight some of the gift offerings this holiday season. Like Halloween the Christmas yard decorations have gone giant. You can get an 18 foot tall Frosty The Snowman or a 15 foot Rudolph with blinking nose for around 400 bucks each or how about four Giant Classic Christmas Lights for around $200. If you like heated items boy they got ’em. You can pick from the Neck and Shoulder Heat Wrap, the Heated Massaging Stadium Seat, the Heated Neck Pain Reliever, or a Heated Vest for your dog. Hey what about a Pelvic Floor Muscle Strengthener, the Indoor Air Propelled Curling Game, the Kiss Blowing Singing Penguin, or the Yoda Table Lamp. Also included in the catalogue is The Stool Stool which helps provide a more relaxed and easier bowel movement. Now I saw something years ago on Shark Tank called The Squatty Potty and I guess there’s no patent on a platform to put your feet on to make hard lemonade. Maybe someone on your list would like The Hypnotic Jellyfish Aquarium, a LED lighted desktop aquarium with two synthetic jellyfish for around a hundred bucks. However, for the person who has everything you might consider The Drug Free Mucus Clearing Device. It helps loosen mucus in the throat and lungs. Imagine on Christmas morning walking up to the tree and seeing the Mucus Clearing Device with your name on it. You bundle that with the Stool Stool and you will be lighter than a feather. Merry Freakin’ Christmas.

Gunga, galunga
Garry