The Voice of the Globe

November 20th, 2019

Hey who am I to judge who’s odd and who’s normal? If you want to dress as a Furrie, people who get into animal costumes, and have conventions, have at it. Or if getting in wool clothing in the middle of summer to reenact The Civil War floats your bayonet, go for it. But I’ve got to say there are some homo sapiens out there who seem to be a bit shall we say out there. And those people would be….drum roll please…..the flat Earthers. Yep, just as the title states people who think the earth is not a sphere but more like an inflatable Christmas decoration when the decoration is not inflated, flat. And this is not just a group of several dozen people like the kind who claim they’ve been abducted by aliens,no no no, we’re talking thousands. In fact a recent survey suggests one in six American adults are not certain the world is round and maybe as many as 7% of Brazilians. To be clear flat Earthers don’t believe that we’re a flying pancake in space. No, they believe that space does not exist, the world sits still and the moon landing was fake. Most believe you won’t fall off the edge because the planet is a circular disk with Antartica acting as an ice wall barrier around the edge. Oh well if you put it that way, but what about all those photos that NASA has taken showing the globe to be round? Flat Earthers believe those have been photoshopped. Right, right, right. Each year more flat Earth events fill the calendar, hundreds of people attend, merchandise is sold, theories are exchanged and then they all go and have a nice dinner. They could’ve gone a different direction, Castro killed Kennedy, Bush brought down the World Trade Center, Jeffrey Epstein was murdered, er, wait awhile on that one, but a flat planet checked all their boxes. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to join the normal people who stab people over a chicken sandwich.

Gunga, galunga
Garry

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